*pretends to be shocked*

Banana Republic stuff!

There’s a website to look through the files released supposedly, but it’s completely busted.

I tried to look at it and all in the span of one minute; I was “waiting in line”, then I “lost connection” and had to refresh at the website’s prompt, so I refreshed and was immediately given the option to “enter”, then I was told that my queue number was “no longer valid” as they expire after 10 minutes. I was told:

“You entered the queue at 12/19/2025 3:34:42 PM”

This is completely false as it had been less than a minute.

“It was your turn at 12/19/2025 3:55:49 PM, and your queue number was valid until 12/19/2025 4:05:49 PM.”

It was still 3:57 PM my time when I tried to enter, again less than a minute after navigating to this URL.

Absolutely smoke and mirrors. Supposedly, this is the website they have set up, but it’s broken (on purpose imo) [https://www.justice.gov/epstein](https://www.justice.gov/epstein)

I got in after a minute and found the same – 2 results for Clinton and a bunch for Trump.

And then I searched for the word ‘the’ and randomly clicked on a pdf that appears to educate people how to massage knots of out someone’s back.

Here’s a copypasta from the search results:

EFTA00008220.pdf – DataSet 4

the eyes) and between the third and fourth toes (for the ear reflexes)….The spots are on the very edge of the bottom of the feet, almost on the webbing between the toes themselves. 6….to the stomach, the pancreas, the spleen, and the heart.

EFTA00008220.pdf – DataSet 4

The front of the body is a little more perplexing….Using the tips of your first two fingers, trace around the edges of the bones that surround the eye – across the brow, down along the nose, and around…the top of the cheek bones, as shown in Figure 11-7c.

EFTA00001055.pdf – DataSet 1

+ THE OO SEAL THE ESE Heal K THE

EFTA00001912.pdf – DataSet 1

The petitioner submits the following statement of facts as the basis for the requested advisory opinion: Facts as the basis for the Advisory Opinion Petitioner…(the “Settlor”) created an irrevocable trust (the “Trust”) pursuant to a trust agreement (the “Trust Agreement”) between the Trustees and the Settlor….Under the terms of the Trust Agreement, the Settlor has the right to acquire befitt income tax purposes, as provided in Sections 671 to 679 of the Internal

EFTA00001898.pdf – DataSet 1

the maight Time – the face….for the normal skin is the inquire wave that has the rights When the visa Insures any the class face, – пор the marries energy of the sound WAVE…the mouth no the top of ear, from nosewing to the temple and from top of the eyabeom to the hairline, und use the 2.

EFTA00008220.pdf – DataSet 4

Afterwards, gently bring the arm back around to the front and lay it down again. 4. Repeat the process on the other arm….Figure 12-4: You mas- sage the arms from a DUMMIES squatting position either in front of the chair or to the side….into the muscles on either side of the spine (see Figure 12-5). Be careful not to press too firmly in the kidney area.

EFTA00008220.pdf – DataSet 4

Then walk your thumb up the outside edge of the heel and across the center of the foot to stimulate the first half of the large intestine….the outside of the left. 10….Halfway down from the center of the ankle bones, toward the bottom of the heels, you’ll find the reflexes for the reproductive organs.

Not that I just did this or anything, but there’s a Python package called pdfminer3 that can read PDFs.

To answer the follow up questions, the redacted parts are indeed redacted, but the script does compile all the text into something one could copy and paste into a text document. Here’s a snippet from a file called ‘EFTA00007157.pdf’ that I found after searching for the word ‘the’. I also tried searching for ‘victim’ and page is still showing ‘Loading…’ after a few minutes. I expect the search engine froze.

While sifting through Epstein s trash, I also collected a three-inch
purple finger size object, which had a broken end. The object
appeared to be a broke piece from a sexual toy similar to a (Cyclone
Vibrator) possibly used for rectal ratification. The sexual object
packaged in a biohazard evidence
was photographed for Detective
bag (possible body fluids) and secured as investigative evidence. All
items collected from Epstein s trash were turned over to Detective

for evidentiary purposes.

On April 05 2005 at 9:18 a.m. I met with Town of Palm Beach

I observed

III

enter the

driveway of 358 El Brillo way an collect the trash from Epstein s
property. I followed

to a predetermined area at which time I

EFTA00007188

Date: 7/25/06
Time: 8:47:53

PALM BEACH POLICE DEPARTMENT

Incident Report

Page:

33
Program: CMS301L

Case No

• 1-05-000368

(Continued)
collected the trash bags from the sanitation truck. I transported the
trash bags to the sanitation department, where I sifted through its
contents. I collected mail correspondenceg addressed to Jeffrey
Epstein as well as notepaper (Important Message) with names and
telephone numbers. The following are items collected from Epstein s
trash.

blank piece of wie aper
black paper
black a er
David
MSN Hotmai we page with email address

The following items were documented for Detective
investigation for evidentiary purposes.

On April 06, 08, 11, 12, 13, 15 2005 at a roximately 9:30 a.m, I
met with Town of Palm Beach
employee enter the driveway o 358 E Bri o Way and collect the trash
from Epstein’s property. I followed the employee to a predetermined
area at which time I collected the trash bags from the sanitation
truck. I transported the trash bags to the
where I sifted through its contents.

I observed the

department,

All of the documents collected from Epstein’s trash during my
assistance were turned over to Detective Pagan for evidentiary
purposes.

Reminder: This is NOT all the files. The DOJ has officially and illegally defied Congress and did not release “several hundred thousand” files.

The ones they did release were very heavily redacted.

Mike Johnson sent Congress home yesterday so they can’t do anything about it.

I’ll leave you to piece together why.